 I became an NLP Practitioner over 20 years ago. It was a time when Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was not only popular but considered essential for anyone in leadership, coaching or sales. It opened up a different way of looking at people, one rooted in curiosity rather than assumption, in modelling rather than managing. Back then, I used it to improve communication, defuse tension and even navigate my own inner saboteur. These days, NLP isn’t mentioned very often in leadership development programmes or team workshops. You’re far more likely to see references to coaching theory, behavioural science or psychological safety. But quietly, behind the curtain, many of those newer frameworks still owe a debt to the principles NLP introduced. While some of its language may feel dated, and a few of its techniques overly rehearsed, the core thinking remains sound—and perhaps even more necessary now than it was then. The Purpose Beneath the PatternAt its core, NLP was never about clever tricks or fast-talking persuasion. It was about learning how people build their reality and helping them adjust it where needed. It asked us to notice what worked in successful behaviour, replicate it, and share it. That’s where the idea of behaviour modelling came in. If someone consistently delivered great presentations, closed deals or ran calm meetings, NLP encouraged you to look beyond the surface. What did they believe? How did they prepare? What sequence of thoughts and actions made up their process? In today’s environment, where peer learning, mentoring and skill sharing are essential across hybrid and matrixed teams, behaviour modelling still has real value. Rather than sending someone on a generic training course, you can help them identify role models, unpack specific behaviours and test new approaches within their day-to-day role. It’s more than shadowing. It’s structured observation, focused reflection and a commitment to building from proven success. A process I’ve used repeatedly with teams over the years, especially when onboarding talent or transitioning subject matter experts into people managers. Communication That Cuts ThroughOne of NLP’s most talked-about contributions was its focus on communication, specifically, how to speak in a way that others actually hear. The meta model, one of NLP’s original frameworks, breaks down language into filters we naturally apply when we communicate. It helps us spot when someone is generalising (“they never listen”), deleting important detail (“I’ve sorted it”) or distorting meaning (“she hates me”). By gently asking clarifying questions, you can unpack the real issue and avoid reacting to incomplete information. If that sounds familiar, it’s because the principles underpin modern coaching conversations and conflict resolution. I’ve used meta model thinking countless times in marketing strategy workshops and 1:1s—often when a client says something broad like “our customers don’t get us” or “email just doesn’t work anymore.” Probing beneath the statement reveals nuance, context and often a way forward. Understanding Motivation with Meta ProgramsAnother less publicised NLP tool—but one I still find useful—is the concept of meta programs. These are unconscious filters that shape how we perceive and react to the world. Some people are motivated towards goals, others are driven to move away from problems. Some prefer options and flexibility, while others seek clear procedures. Understanding a person’s meta programs can help you frame feedback more effectively, assign roles that suit their thinking style, and reduce frustration in cross-functional teams. In hybrid or remote environments—where assumptions about motivation can lead to mismatched expectations—this awareness becomes critical. For example, someone who prefers external reference points may need regular check-ins to feel confident they’re on track. In contrast, someone who relies on internal validation might find that style intrusive. While it may feel clunky to talk about “meta programs” outright, simply recognising these patterns can change the way you manage, collaborate and coach others. What Is the Convincer Strategy?One strategy or meta program that has stayed with me over the years is the Convincer Strategy. In NLP, the Convincer Strategy refers to the internal process someone uses to determine whether something is credible, trustworthy or true. It’s part of how we decide, often unconsciously, whether to take action. Everyone has a preferred pattern for becoming convinced—whether through repetition, specific sensory input, or information from a trusted source. There are four key components:
In her book, Words That Change Minds, Shelle Rose Charvet put forward that the mode (how many times) breaks down as follows:  Why It Matters at the Bottom of the FunnelAt the decision stage of the sales funnel, buyers are no longer learning what a solution is—they’re weighing up which one to choose, or whether to proceed at all. At this point, generic marketing tactics give way to proof, trust signals and tailored reassurance. Here’s where understanding Convincer Strategies becomes invaluable: 1. Personalising Proof Some people need to try something for themselves (e.g. a free trial), while others only need to read a white paper from a known expert. If you’re presenting testimonials to someone who requires personal experience to be convinced, it will likely fall flat. 2. Reducing Resistance Knowing whether your buyer needs a one-off confirmation or repeated exposure helps avoid overloading or under-delivering. Someone with a “three-times” convincer may not act after the first email or call—but with consistent proof over time, they move forward. 3. Aligning Messaging with Trust Preferences Using the wrong channel or source (e.g. video when they prefer peer reviews, or data when they prefer instinct) undermines confidence. Matching the strategy means delivering content they find convincing—not just what you find persuasive. 4. Shortening the Final Decision Window When you understand someone’s convincer pattern—especially in 1:1 consultative sales—you can fast-track decisions by presenting the right evidence in the right format. It saves time and builds trust faster. Why It Matters at the Bottom of the FunnelTo make use of convincer strategies in your sales funnel:
NLP in a Digital-First WorldModern working life looks very different to the early 2000s. We communicate through Slack or Teams. We lead people we’ve never met in person. We pitch ideas through webcams and manage conflict via email threads. Yet the human mind hasn’t evolved at the same pace. We still filter experience through stories, emotional anchors and unconscious cues. NLP was ahead of its time in recognising this. What it offered then, we still need now—perhaps more than ever. 5 Ways NLP Techniques can still support the modern workplace1. Build Connection in Remote Teams Picking up on language patterns or sensory cues (“I hear you” vs “I see what you mean”) helps identify how someone processes information. Adjusting your language to match theirs builds rapport quickly—even on a video call. 2. Structure Better Coaching Conversations Using clean questioning based on the meta model helps uncover limiting beliefs, assumptions or blind spots. It prevents advice-giving and encourages reflection, especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged discussions. 3. Reframe Challenges into Choices Whether you’re leading a change programme or dealing with team resistance, NLP-style reframing can turn “this won’t work” into “what would make this easier to try?” It creates space for progress. 4. Understand What Drives People Meta programs provide a lens for motivation. They help explain why one person thrives in chaos while another craves structure. This is invaluable for hybrid leadership, especially when team members have widely different preferences. 5. Model Excellence, Don’t Just Document It Rather than writing endless SOPs, NLP encourages you to model what your top performers do and why. This approach supports tacit knowledge transfer and builds capability faster than manuals alone. Why NLP Fell Out of FavourSo, if it’s still so useful, why did NLP fall from grace? Partly, it was a credibility issue. Some early practitioners overstated its scientific grounding, while others used techniques in ways that felt manipulative or over-engineered. As organisations became more evidence-led and HR policies more formal, NLP’s freeform, intuitive style became less fashionable. Additionally, the lack of regulatory oversight led to wildly varying training quality. One person’s “Practitioner” could be someone else’s weekend hobby. But the ideas—clean questioning, state management, behaviour modelling, and reframing—quietly migrated into modern coaching models, design thinking, behavioural science and emotional intelligence training. NLP didn’t disappear. It simply got absorbed. Final ThoughtsYou don’t need to call it NLP. And you certainly don’t need to revisit every original technique. But there is lasting value in what it taught us about human thinking, perception and behaviour. If you’re leading people, navigating change or simply trying to communicate with more clarity, the principles behind NLP still hold weight. Ask better questions. Notice patterns. Adjust your language. Reflect on how others might be wired differently. It’s not about persuasion or perfection. It’s about working with people as they are, not as you assume them to be. And for that alone, NLP deserves a quiet return to the workplace conversation. #DigitalStrategy #CustomerTrust #NLPinBusiness
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